Cougartini Presents.....Hey Cougar!

Cubby and I filmed our pilot for our television series.  It was an amazing process.  We are both well spent after it all.  The film crew was very professional and skilled.  Their patience was commendable. I never knew how much time and effort gets into one little scene, or how questions and comments get turned into stories and shows.  There is so much I have experienced in life and so much I have yet to know.  This wild and crazy adventure with my cubby has been one of the most amazing times in my life.  Who would have thought…if you has asked me 10 years ago what I thought I would be doing now…lol….the answer would have been some safe and sound probability.  No risk, no adventure, just tried and true wagers.  Most certainly not the Mistress of our illustrious Cougars Den.  

We learned about our strengths as a couple today, much about our relationship fears, and so much about our family and how little they know about us.  While not much has changed in our life, at least for today, so much will never be the same.  The support we were shown, the support we showed each other and the support we gained for the cougar community was uplifting.  While we cant change the negative connotation that the word “cougar” commands, we can embrace it.  We can accept that people will always have an opinion, they will always have a judgement, and they will always have company in whichever position they stand.    

In the end, my life is my own, mine to live as I choose.  Cubby will live as he chooses.  We aren’t asking for approval, we arent asking for permission, or validation.  Instead, we ask for peace, respect and freedom from those who would play their thoughts out loud.  

Sometimes women confuse me.  I belong to meetup.com, a great place to meet friends with things in common.  There are several ladies groups at meetup, and for just about anything and everything you like to do.  The one thing that really blows my mind there is when I see younger women separating themselves from the older women as they create new groups.  As if age is contagious and they don’t want to catch it.  Maybe its too much like hanging with your mother, or the uncool girl at school, regardless the reason, I see it time and time again.  These women create groups with age ranges that have older women rapidly falling through the gaps. Today I got an email for a “sex in the city” type group.  So cute…the homepage backround with Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha arm in arm and looking hot.  All dressed up in their hot pink outfits off to conquer the town.  Just about to hit the “Join” button, I notice the group profile reads…

“ Are you a single professional lady who is looking for that special someone? Do you think you are stylish and attractive? Are you between the age of 25 to 30 something? Are you suffering lots of social pressure about age, expectation and marriage while achieving your personal goals?”  

I pull my finger back and think …WAIT JUST ONE STINKING MINUTE!!!..is this little kitten trying to tell us at thirty something it all ends for us no longer thirty somethings? Am I supposed to have had it all figured out by now?  No pressures, no expectations, no marriage to consider, and no more personal goals?  HOLY SHIT…I am at a serious deficit here if thats the case.  What about all those women who waited to make their choices, who’s age in child bearing is more looming than ever? Those still deciding if marriage is feasible to consider, and career goals that have changed only to begin again.  

Why is it women over forty are forgotten? Invisible, ruled out, overlooked and now bad prospects to the world at first glance?  We have to push, prod, fight, scream and cry to be heard now.  I really believe thats why God makes our hormones function in spurts after 40.  With estrogen going low leaving progesterone and testosterone tp take the lead, we get an arsenal of PMS and male aggression to help make people THINK AGAIN in dissing us….lol.

I emailed our sweet little 30something organizer of the group.  Told her how fun it sounded to join but sad I didn’t make the age requirement.  I reminded her that there were a bevy of women like myself who would enjoy becoming members and could add much to the pool.  I shared my enthusiasm for the gals from Sex in the City and reminded her they would be aimless lost chicks without the irreverence, savvy, and frankness of their most coveted friend Samantha. I reminded her that Sam was a business guru, sexual siren, fashionista, and one fabulous babe over the age of 40.  Her indecision, floundering and bouts of wisdom brought us laughter, levity, tears and in essence, made that show the household name it is today.   

Heres to you Samantha, for daring to be Fabulous over 40 and remind these kittens what they have to look forward to!